My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
