Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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