Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
