Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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