She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
