I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just want to make out with him forever
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
