they need to just BURY HIM!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
