I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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