At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
