Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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