someone threw a dead crab at me
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
