In America we eat man semen.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
