What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
