well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
