we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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