i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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