You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
