We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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