There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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