I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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