I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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