she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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