the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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