id be glad to
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
