she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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