so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
