U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
