I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
