Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
