I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
