Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
