So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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