True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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