I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
