Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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