maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
