I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
