I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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