I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
whose parrot is this?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
