I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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