6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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