I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
