I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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