I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
