I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Even my vagina gasped.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
