Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
