Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You did what with his pubic hair?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
