Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
false alarm, still single
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