Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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