it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
