After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
