just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
