If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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